My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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