jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
