Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
