I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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