Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
