really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
