Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
