bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
