are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
