I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
