Who wears a wallet chain?!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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