i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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