Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize