he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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