i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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