But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
