I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
