Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
