ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize