Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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