Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
