I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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