I bet he comes in French.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
