i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
