Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
why is half of my head shaved?
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