dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
