just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
