May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize