Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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