So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
