the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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