I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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