new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
