my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
