so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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