I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
