I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
