I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
