There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
