Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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