He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
