Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize