She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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