She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
