She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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