it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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