One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
