i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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