but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Duck Duck Cougar?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
