You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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