I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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