Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
