were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
