I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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