So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
