Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
