Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
