Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
