So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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