some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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