She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
