Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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