it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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