I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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