we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
