at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
